Buzz

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but Joshua is deathly afraid of bees. When the sun came out a month ago, he began to watch for them.

We've tried everything--science and religion books (bees are good!), worst case scenarios (so what if you get stung?) and multiple animated movies (all with heroic yet vulnerable bee protagonists). All to no avail.

I finally got fed up. Joshua wouldn't go outside the doorway, fearing every fly might actually be a bee. We decide to have a barbeque at my parents' home for dinner, but Josh insists we not go because we might all get stung.

So the kids were back in their rooms as I was folding laundry. I looked out the window, and thought "Wow, I haven't seen gnats like that since we lived in Alabama!" Then I saw the neighbors gathering at a distance to watch, and soon realized that the black haze in my driveway did not consist of gnats. Those suckers were bees. They were swarming at our doors and windows like a tornado.

After saying a prayer (certain that this was the beginning of Armegeddon) I ran around the house to shut all the doors and windows. Then I called my parents to come over and help. By the time they arrived, the bulk of the plague had moved about 15 feet over to my yard. My parents got out of their car (in spite of my hollering from the front door) and happily informed me that my walnut tree was the chosen resting place for a swarm of honeybees.

Truth be told, I have a love/hate relationship with bees. I admire their products, I love their unselfish work ethic, and I appreciate their loyalty. My name even means "Honey Bee" in Greek. Isn't that cool? But get me within 10 yards of a bee, and I'm as freaked out as Joshua. So as my parents were standing in the middle of the swarm, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't dropped on my head as a child after all. I was just born into insane lineage.

Googling for a few minutes supported my parents' claims. Apparently, the queen bee lays eggs all winter long. In the springtime they hatch, and soon, the bees outgrow their hive. So a new queen is brought up, and the old queen leaves with half of the bees to find a new home. They travel in swarms, and sometimes stop to rest in places like trees. Most of the bees surround the queen in the resting place, while a few leave to scout the perimeter. I guess I should consider myself priveleged to have watched the queen bee travel through my driveway and choose my little tree to take a nap with her loyal subjects.

Honey bees have been known to "rest" for longer than 24 hours in a location while the scout bees look for prime real estate (sometimes nearby). Apparently, they often choose to settle in the walls of homes. If they choose the Torgerson walls, I'm going to have to start charging rent. I already have a freeloading squirrel, I don't need a colony of bees too.


Follow up: We called a beekeeper the next day, who happily came over to take the queen. Within 2 hours, the remaining bees (he couldn't get them all) had flown back to their old hive.